JANICE!

BEYONCE- YOU WISH YOU WERE THIS MUCH OF A RUDE GIRL!

JANICE: THE WORLDS FIRST SUPERMODEL- TITLE INVENTED HERSELF COZ SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS LIKE SUPERMAN.

HAPPY NEW YEAR. THANK GOD FOR ANOTHER YEAR FAILING TO PRODUCE A TIME CAPSULE SO WE'LL NEVER HAVE TO LIVE IT AGAIN.

JANICE IS GONNA BE THE ONLY ONE WHOSE AGE IS GOING BACKWARDS.

TESSA X

PROPA CHRIMBO

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM TESSA! YEA SURE WE FUCKED OFF FOR ABIT BUT LIKE A BOOMERANG WE'RE RETURNING


YEA VERY INSPIRATIONAL AND YKNOW I LOVE PANOS ETC, BUT

LOOK AT HER BABING IT UP FOR TESSA- AND SOZ TO GET ON OUR HIGH HORSE, BUT TESSA HAVE LOVED RIHANNA FOR AGES- AND DONT CALL HER 'RHI RHI' LIKE A DICKHEAD

DONT BE JUMPING ON THIS BAND WAGON JUST FOR LOLS, BUT TESSA GOT 2011 'LOVE' ( WORDS FOR <> PETE IS THIS GENERATION'S ANSWER TO MARYLIN IN TERMS OF POP TALENT AND LIONEL RICHIE IN TERMS OF PARENTING.

KERRY- FOR BLOW DRYING YOUR HAIR USING A WEBCAM. PLEASE GIVE HER A CHANCE- HER AND PETE GOING TO ELTON JOHN'S PARTY WAS MODERN DAY CINDERLLA.

P.S. WILLOW SMITH IS WANK

BEST MOMENT OF 2011 IS GONNA BE KELLY OSBOURNE GETTING FAT AGAIN.

SHIT WE LOVE LOUIS WALSH TOO! BEST THING ON TELE AFTER THESE TWO!

EMBRACE THE SHOTGUN WEDDING

PRETTY SURE THIS TAKES PRIORITY OVER MY THESIS?

HUNGOVER

TESSA WENT RAVIN' LAST NIGHT, NOW WE'RE HUNGOVER AND ALL WE WANT TO DO IS WATCH MASTERCHEF.

TURBAN

WATCH SOME SCANDI BABE TIE A TURBAN.

LFW COVERAGE

MEADHAM KIRCHOFF S/S '11

FASHION FORECAST FOR 2011: PEOPLE ARE STILL COMPLETE DICKHEADS

END OF FASHION WEEK COVERAGE.

VIVA MADRID

CLUB TESSA DOES MADRID.
MADRID IS A CULTURAL HUB WITH FAMOUS ART GALLERIES, BOTANICAL GARDENS AND BAROQUE PALACES, ALSO

HIGH FASHION ,

INTERESTING SHOPS,

RATS TAIL HAIRCUTS,

MAN EATING YOGURT OUT OF CARBOOT,

CONDOM VENDING MACHINE,

GOOD ART (THIS STATUE OF A POLAR BEAR LOOKED REALLY LIKE A POLAR BEAR)

EYEBROWS ON TOUR,

CIGARS FOR 80 CENTS,

STREET ART SUCH AS MTV'S 'MTV'

REAL MADRID, JOSE MOURINHO.

WE WOULD BE HUMBLE BUT WOULD YOU IF YOU FUCKING MET JOSE MOURINHO. OH SHIT !

TESSA X

AYAYAYAY

WE'RE FAKE TANNED OUTTA OUR BRAINS AND OFF TO MADRID!

THE NEXT WEEK WILL CONSIST OF DRINKING AS MANY COCKTAILS,

SMOKING AS MANY MARLBORO MENTHOLS AND PULLING AS

MANY FOOTBALLERS AS TESSA CAN HANDLE. SAFE.

CLUB TESSA X

MORE TESSA BABES

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS RIGHT ABOUT THIS PICTURE.

HANNELI

POLISHED LEATHER LEGS

JUST WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT RAOUL MOAT, STEALING PHOTOS OFF FACEBOOK AND WONDERING WHY MEN DONT WEAR HOT PANTS ANYMORE?

SHIT/ GONNA TALK ABOUT FASHION

WHEN THE FUCK DID HAIDER ACKERMANN GO FROM BEING PRETTY STANDARD TO BEING TOTALLY ACE?
WARN US IN FUTURE PLEASE.

DEDICATION

MAJOR TESSA POINTS FOR THIS TOTAL BABE!

MATT HORNE IS A COMPLETE TWAT

WHAT ARE YOU LIKE EH!?

TESSA LOVES DOGVILLE

EVERYTHING SEEMS SO AVERAGE SINCE TESSA SAW THESE, BUT WE DONT GIVE A FUCK- WE'VE SEEN A DOG MILKING A GOAT !

BILLIE PIPER'S EYEBROWS

SHE COULD RUN OVER MY DOG AND I WOULDN'T GIVE A SHIT. BEST BROWS IN SHOW.

TESSA'S STYLE ICONS

"Indian Brides can spend up to $2 Million on gold on their wedding day"

Thanks India, but no one loves gold more than Tessa we've got a $4 mil minimum budget, and we aint saving ourselves to get married.

TESSA RATED

A POST DEDICATED TO THE UNDERAPPRECIATED POPSTAR MARILYN


MARYLIN FACT : MARYLIN WAS BORN IN KINGSTON JAMAICA

TESSA LOVES YOU, AND IF YOU REALLY ARE FAT AND LIVING WITH YOUR MUM IN HERTS NOW, COME STAY IN TESSA'S SPARE ROOM, WE'LL GET YOU GOOD AND SKINNY AGAIN.

MONIK

Tessa has a beautiful friend named Monik. A while ago Monik went out of Tessa's life but today she floated back in. Encounter her here: http://rusmon.co.nr/

BITCHIN

Tessa LOVES bitches going stir crazy at their men on facebook

" not gona get dwn anymore i dunno y i shud i never done fuk all . u made it this way and im not gona b the 1 2 try fix it"

"not a bad person did nuffin wrong. an i am not gonna stoop 2 ur level u carry on the way u r . ur jus makin urself look stupid"

"hate dis horrible sick worried feeling where ur on da verge of tears evry 5 seconds and da 1 person who can make it go away really doesnt seem like they could care!"

THINGS

YES
har har har

JENNIFER METCALFE

Bitch only gone and got lipo.

1/2 OF CLUB TESSA TURNS 21

CLUB TESSA IS REUNITED

PRESENTS!


OTHER PRESENTS TESSA STYLE

WAG

BABS

This half of club tessa loves her friends more than ever this weekend.